To the future!

At Neptune Park in SS. Giant rope jungle gym!

 

The picture has nothing to do with this post but isn't she so cute??  This morning Mabel woke up at 4 AM.  This is a problem.   Eric was still awake at 4 AM and I was getting up for work so she thought it must be time to get up!  Eric then fell asleep and I left the house.  Before I left I got Mabel some milk and turned on Kung Fu Panda with a blanket.  Hopefully she went back to sleep. 

I'm getting so tired of our work schedules being exactly opposite from each other but I am grateful that Mabel doesn't have to go to day care.  Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if she was at day care for a few hours in the morning so Eric could get some sleep and Mabel could have more attention in the mornings.  I just don't know if i want to pay for it and I've worked at a day care so I know what goes on... 

Eric and I have been brainstorming ways that I could be stay-at-home.  It usually just comes home to paying off debt or Eric finding a job that pays more.  We are so hesitant to have Eric leave Datawise though because they treat us so well!  Eric is worried that he might not be able to progress much more and it might be smarter to get a job with a company where there is more room to move up.  He is so great at his job so we are leaning more towards me moving up and making more to pay off debt faster. 

I'm now a back up receptionist so I'm hoping I can become a full time receptionist or what I really want to do is become an Admistrative Assitant (big wig assistant or department assistant).  I've found out I'm really good at it and I enjoy it.  I know it's strange to asspire to be a receptionist in the world of careers but I think it would be perfect for me and it is not as easy as you would think! 

I'm also hoping to finish my bachlor's degree with BYU.  They have on online program for people like me to finish their bachlor's in generals online so I could do it at home.  I would just have to pass statstics.  I've failed that class TWICE so I'm scared.  But, I can be reimbursed tution from Wellpoint now that they have bought 1800CONTACTS. 

Last night Eric gave our FHE lesson and we read about the brother of Jared.  They (the Jaredites) sat on the beach for 4 years before he prayed to find out what to do.  Then God chastised him for 3 hours for not praying to him sooner to find out what they should do next before telling him to constuct the boats.  That would be pretty humbling!  So we are going to learn from the brother of Jared and pray our guts out so we can figure out how to proceed.  That is something we haven't been as good with in our marriage that we want to change. 

Side note: Eric loves learning about the brother of Jared because he is the brother of A Jared and he is also "a large and mighty man."  I think it's pretty cute. :)

So we will keep on keeping on and "cry unto the lord" for future direction!

What with all the shanagins and goings on...

Hello Hello!  If you can name the movie I quoted I will send you a post card.  Drawn by myself.

See, I knew it would take a while to post any pictures of my hair, condo and the wedding.  Also, I didn't take one picture of Easter.  I know, I know.  I do feel bad that I missed out because she was pretty stinkin' cute hunting for Easter eggs. 
Here is my hair:

Basically, we shortened the back and added some blond with the red to make it more "rich and dynamic."  Kim did a great job!  Please also note that I'm dressing my truth, sans the cardigan I wore with this outfit to make it more pulled together.

Mabel in her big girl bed:

She is too little for that bed! I just love it though. Nice and girly. :)

Jared's wedding day:

Wedding days are always exhausting but ALWAYS wonderful! We love Adree and they are so happy together. :)  It was fun to have everyone out and lots of people at our condo!

I still haven't taken pictures of our new place.  I never remember to take pictures when it's clean...  so still to come.

I've also decided that I'm going to try lifting weight more seriously.  I was motivated by this article about a girl who did it the wrong way first, then figured out the right way.  I'm not necessarily going to follow the Paleo diet but I think clean eating is good.  Also, I just love the blogs Peanut Butter Fingers and Nerd Fitness.  You're welcome.
 

Updates!

So you've probably noticed I don't blog too often.  I feel like I need tons of pictures or it won't be interesting.  This is probably true but I'm going to blog anyway because I am getting too far behind.  Then, if I think about it, I will add pictures later.

Several things have changed for us in the past few months!  We moved to a bigger place in Saratoga Springs, I have completely remade my wardrobe, I made a renewed effort to be healthy, Jared (Eric's brother) got married, Eric's family stayed with us for a week just after moved, Aziz (Eric's sister's boyfriend) was baptized by Eric and we bought Mabel a princess potty. 

I probably won't put this all in one post but let's start at the top, shall we?  Our move!  Well, it was quite the adventure!  The Saturday we moved was a total blizzard!  It was horrible and I felt so bad asking people to come help us but help us they did!  We are so blessed to have so many friends and family willing to give up 4 hours of their Saturday to help us move in that weather!  The move went smoothly and nothing got broken except my floor lamp.  That was totally my fault and I was pretty upset but what can you do? 

Our new place is 3 bedrooms (instead of 1), hallelujah!!  Mabel has her own room with a big girl bed and her toys contained. Eric has an office with a futon (his dream come true.)  I am just thrilled about the closet and cupboard space I have and a laundry room!  I know, I know, this is pretty standard for most everyone I know but this is HUGE for me.  And I'm enjoying every moment. :)  It's a very nice place but it is on the 3rd floor.  I suppose this is a pro and a con but I could use the exercise.  Someday I will have a yard but this is a fantastic upgrade regardless.  

Pictures to come of our new place.

As for my make over, most of you know that I bought the Dressing Your Truth program by Carol Tuttle.  My sister, Kim found it and introduced it to our family.  My other sister Shannon also got the program and so did my mom.  It's basically a type of personality assessment but it's the best I've ever done.  There are 4 types and you have all 4 in you but the point is to find out which is your dominant energy and then dress to match it.  By dressing your truth, people look at you and understand a bit of you who are and I know I look best when I'm dressing my truth.  I'm the most comfortable in my type of clothes and I love that now everything I have coordinates!  I used to buy clothes that I would never wear and getting dressed was a bit of a challenge every day.  It was so nice to do it all with my family because we were able to swap clothes instead of having to buy a bunch of new ones. 

I have to say that the best thing about this program is that it gives you permission to be who you really are.  Having an amazing wardrobe is just an excellent benefit.  I cried when I realized that it's okay to be me.  All my life I have shamed myself for not being who I thought I should be.  Now I realize that my nature to be forceful and get things done is actually a strength!  I just need to be sure to balance my types and be mindful of who I am working with.  I'm so much happier being swift and strong with out feeling like I'm being too masculine.  I can be a hot, sexy, wife and a caring compassionate person while still being true to who I am!  This was so very liberating for me and it's helped me in all of my relationships.

I will post my before and after pictures once I get my hair done on Friday!  I think I will stop there for now.   Be back later today or tomorrow.  I hope. :)

Birthday Boy!

Today is Eric's 27th birthday!  In honor of that day, I going to write a post about the Eric I know and love. 

Eric is not happy that he's 27.  He feels like he should have accomplished more by now but I want him to know the man I see.  I see the most generous person I've ever met.  He literally gives our things away (things we use...) to people who he thinks need it or would even like it! He's also very genuine.  You can always tell what he is feeling!  Eric doesn't believe in ever faking anything and he is sincere in his love for others and in his testimony. 

Eric is the oldest of 6 children so he was a big help to his parents growing up and he learned the value of hard work and patience with children.  I don't think it's his nature to work as hard as he does so I do have to credit his parents for that.  He loves his family so very much.  He misses them now that he doesn't get to see them as often.

It's in Eric's nature to have FUN!  All the time.  He loses interest so quickly if it's not fun.  I see this as one of his greatest strengths.  He is so good for me.  He helps me to remember to enjoy life and the journey it is.  Sometimes I get so caught up in everything that needs to be done and taken care of that I don't stop to just hang out and play with Mabel and him.

Eric loves to make people laugh and be goofy.  I can never stay mad at him!  That is frustrating but a good thing for me.  I can get pretty stinkin' mad so I like that he can worm his way into my heart.  I've noticed that fastest way he gets me to get over something is to ask me for help.  It's interesting but you can't be mad at someone who needs you.  And he needs me.  And I love him for that too.

Mabel ADORES her daddy.  She loves to dance, play, sing and rough house with him.  They have such a good time together!  I love to hear her in the bedroom with him just giggling away because he's being funny.  Eric watches Mabel while I'm at work then he goes to work. He comes home and gets to bed at about 3 AM and then wakes up with Mabel between 7-8AM.  He never gets enough sleep but he's so patient with Mabel (and me). 

Eric's work and sleep schedule have made it hard to have a healthy lifestyle but his goal is to live better and be happier.  Once he puts his mind to it, he will be unstoppable. 

Eric is also the family computer guru. Eric doesn't know everything about computers but he can certainly figure it out!  He knows so much and it's be really helpful to have someone to to updates, installs, ect.  Eric's (expensive) hobby is to build computers.  He's always buying new parts and updating his computer and has even helped others chose parts and build their computer for them. He reads so much online about the technology world and always knows the latest and greatest everything.

Eric is actually very well rounded, that is something I really respect about him.  He doesn't get caught up in stereotypes.  He just does what he loves!  He snowboards, skateboards, plays basketball, football, and the guitar.  He records music, builds computers, plays video games, watches sports and martial arts films. He sings and reads music and loves road trips.

He's so great at his job!  I'm always to proud to go to his company Christmas party because I know he has an amazing reputation for getting work done quickly and efficiently.  His boss said that he set the bar higher for new employees because he picked it up so fast!  She also said that they send the hardest projects to Eric because they know they can count on him to get it done and figure it out.

So here's to my husband on his birthday. For the man that he is and the man he will be.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Honey Buns!

 

Eric doesn't like his picture taken so here is a repeat of one of my favorites.

Because I'm not the same person I was in high school

I'm so excited to see my best friends today!  My friend Natalie is coming in from Vermont and Britney and Nicole and I are all going to meet her at Thanksgiving Point for lunch.  Being with my friends is totally awesome.  It's good to be with people who don't judge and love you dispite your flaws.  Conversation is easy and smiling is constant.  We practically grew up together (yes, I consider high school and college the growing up years) and we have done a great job of staying in touch. 

I find myself becoming the best of myself but I've also noticed that I also become the worst of the self at the same time.  Allow me to explain.  The past few years of my life, I have spent trying to better myself.  Be kind and friendly and not say mean or negative things, especially about other people.  When I get with my friends, part of me reverts back to my high school self.  I'm more spontanious and less responsible.  I feel more relaxed and but I also say whatever comes into my head.   My friends see this as a positive in me but sometimes I don't like it about myself.  I can be witty but I can also be pretty ruthless when I'm trying to be funny.  Maybe I'm still trying to impress my friends the same way my insercure high school self would. 

My sisters Kim and Shannon are very good examples of being loving and non judgemental.  I never realize how mean I am about other people and even myself until I am with them.  I will make a coment like "Oh man, I'm so stupid, I just did the dumbest thing!"  I don't really think I'm really stupid but it stops me short when Shannon says "Be nice, you are not!"  Why do I think it's okay to be mean to myself??  I wouldn't let someone say that about my friend so why would I say it about myself?  Or I will make a comment about someone's shirt that I find distaful for whatever reason and make a comment about it and Kim will defend them and say something about free choice and I'm sure they are a very nice person.  Kim has always been my role model but when did my little sister get to be so kind?  I want to be more like that and only think and say kind things. To always look for the good in people and always give the benefit of the doubt.  No matter how someone treated me in high school, the grocery store, at work, ect...

Today, I want to just be the best version of me.  Still fun and carefree but I want to reign in my insecure self.  I love the postive influences in my life and I hope I can be a force for good.  Wish me luck!

Senior Dinner Dance

Life Lately

Well, I have done some other things in life besides just being sad! This time of year is hard though because it's Eric's busy season at work. When I'm home, he's asleep so I was getting a little lonely.  I've been hanging out with one of my best friends, Brittany Herd and her little Kamden so that has been nice. 
I also bought a lot of books with my birthday gift cards to Barnes and Noble so I've been making my way through those.  I read Edenbrooke twice.  I finished it and started over again immediately.  Yeah, it was THAT good.  (Thanks to Kim for that one!)
This weekend Brit, Mandy (Brit's cousin) and I went to Cornbelly's with our kids.  It was pretty awesome!  It has changed a lot since I last went 6 years ago!  We jumped on the giant pillow, climbed in the wooden ships, trucks and the hay pyramid.  Went in bounce houses, obsticle courses and the giant slide.  They pretty much wore us out!  I still want to go back and go through the corn maze with Eric.  Maybe it will still be open in November after his busy season. 
I also went to Shannon's bridal shower her soon to be in-laws threw for her in Layton.  It was fun to meet Matt's family and they are really great! 
Yesterday my entire family (except Eric because he had to work :( ) went up Millcreek Canyon to shake quakies.  Most the the aspen trees had already lost their leaves because of the drought this year but we still had fun.  This is a tradition we do every year on Conference Sunday that started with my grandma when my mom was little.  We walk around and eat dounts and cookies and have cider and hot cocoa.   This year was especially cold!  You will see a picture of Mabel hudled with cousin Hailey trying to keep warm.  The poor thing was shivering and she had 3 layers on with a down coat! 
Way back in August, we went to San Francisco with Eric's sister Jenn and her huband Lance and their little 6 month old, Lily.  That was sure an adventure!  It really is an amazing city!  We went to Giants baseball game, Alcatraz, Ghirdelli Square and a French resturant for a fancy dinner.  I'm pretty sure that resturant was the highlight of the trip for me but I loved everything.  We got pretty good at public transportation. Vacations with children are just not the same as before but I think Mabel had fun doing something else.  Someday when I'm rich (HA) I want to go back with just Eric and stay down town.  I have pictures of the trip in Instagram but I can't figure it out on here so add me on Instagram. I'm mabelsmom2010. 
This weekend, Kim and I are throwing a bridal shower and it's her son Logan's baptism that same day.  I'm also going to meet my friend Kalli at Gardner Villiage on Wednesday. I'm so excited to see her baby Blake!  It should be a good week but I do need to fold some laundry. 
Happy Autunm everyone!

Hailey and Mabel snuggeling

 

Grocery Shopping



Shannon and Matt keepin' warm

Rice, Beans and Crazy Hair

Lost for now

*some of this is a little graphic

Most of you know that Eric and I were expecting our second child in April and a few less of you know that we lost the baby this past week.  I thought it might be easier if I let people read about it here instead of telling the story a million times so I don't burst into tears every time.

First let me start off by saying I did not ever expect to have a miscarriage.  I didn't even know of any body that had miscarried so it just wasn't even on my radar.  I am healthy, we already have a child and I was sicker than a dog (which people say is a good sign of a healthy pregnancy.) 

Things started to go down hill on our last two days of our trip to San Fransisco.  (I plan on blogging about that later.)  I got really really sick on Sunday and I couldn't keep anything down for a while.  On Thursday I developed a fever and read online how that can endanger a pregnancy in the first trimester.  Of course I freaked out and called Eric.  He left work early and took me to the ER. 

They gave me fluids and some stronger meds (I had Zofran from the day before that weren't doing a thing) and they took my blood and ran some tests.  They said that I did have a virus but because I didn't have any lower abdominal pain that the baby was probably just fine.  I relaxed and went home and started to recover.

Then on Labor Day I was at Eric's grandparents and had some slight spotting.  I freaked out even though I knew that lots of women spot and it might not mean anything.  Then that night I started cramping.  At that point I knew I didn't have a big chance of carrying this baby.  I went to see my doctor for an ultrasound on Tuesday morning. 

Dr. McCarter did his best to find a heart beat and I'm sure he looked longer than was necessary but it just wasn't there.  We did get to see him on the screen and he had a head, arms, and legs.  I wanted him.   I didn't know miscarriage really felt like losing a baby.   But it does.  I'm so grateful I had Eric with me.  He had his hand on my head, and even though he wasn't giving me a blessing, I felt his priesthood power comforting me.  Dr. McCarter let me know that losing the baby was in no way my fault.  It couldn't have been prevented and my sickness the week before probably didn't even effect it.  It was comforting to know at least I couldn't blame myself because that was my first reaction. 

The Dr gave us some time to regain our composure and then came back to give me some options.  I could go through with natural miscarriage and he could give me some pain meds, or I could do D&C and they would clean me out.  The idea of vacuuming out my baby made me want to hurl (that is not to judge anyone who has gone that route.  Emotionally it can be a lot easier than waiting for your body to recognize that the baby has died.  It's probably easier physically too, I found out.) 

I might have more seriously considered that option if I had known how incredibly painful it is to go through a miscarriage.  I've been told it is similar to labor because your body is getting ready to push out a baby.  I had very painful and intense contractions for two hours on Wednesday about every 30 seconds.  Those pain meds barely took the edge off.  I didn't realize they were contractions so it took me a while to figure out that I needed to try to relax and breath through them.  That helped.  I delivered what I think was the baby that day and Thursday I was still having contractions that I had to breath through.  I delivered the placenta on Friday morning and I've been just fine since except for minor cramping similar to a very heavy menstrual cycle.

Emotionally, I think I'm pretty much back to normal except when I think or talk about it too much.  I know I will get to raise that baby some day I'm grateful for the experience for a few reasons. The first was that it brought Eric and I closer together as we leaned on each other for support.  I also know how loved we are by family and friends from all the help and support we received.  We received meals, plants, flowers, service, baby sitting, hugs, phone calls and love from so many people and we feel truly blessed that have such a great support.  I'm also so grateful that we were married in the Temple and that families are forever.  I appreciate Mabel more than ever and I look forward to expanding our family in the future.

Anyway, thank you to everyone that has been there for us.  We truly love you and I hope to be able to serve all of you.

Love Katie